Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships

Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships

Just as a rose's beauty fades, so does a woman or mans. A relationship based soley on physical attraction isn't a relationship at all. In a true loving relationship, no matter how much one's looks change the love will not. Will you hold on to the one you love over time or when their appearances begin to fade will you throw them away as if you would a meaningless dead rose? Love a person for their soul that occupies the human body.

Everyone wants love. In Fact, our search for love is the number one theme of today’s popular movies, music, and storylines for books. And this is nothing new. As we know from ancient Greek literature, the Old Testament and the writings of William Shakespeare, love has always been a major part of the human life.
Well Since it is so prevalent in today’s society, then why are we so bad at it? Why are there so many divorces? Why is there so much adultery? Why are most songs about love, about break-ups, or painful relationships? Wouldn’t you think we would have this “love” thing down pat by now, since it has been around for so long in our world’s history.

In this post I’m going to talk about some possible solutions to creating long lasting relationships. I will first talk about Hollywood’s perspective on Love and Then God’s perspective on Love and relationships. I am only talking about Hollywood’s perspective, because Hollywood is a big part of our culture. Many of their ideologies begin to wear off on society and they become our way of living. If the current movie doesn't have blowing someone up, or kung fu fighting, its a love story. It is a huge power controlled by a few select people of society that run are in charge of what society listen to and watch for most part of their day.

Hollywood’s formula for lasting, Loving relationships.
1. Find the right person
2. Fall in love
3. Fix your hopes and dreams of future fulfillment in that person
4. If failure occurs, repeat steps 1,2, and 3

God’s prescription: Eph 5:1-2
1.Become the right person
2. Walk in Love
3. Fix your hope on God and seek to please Him through your relationship
4. If failure occurs, repeat steps 1,2, and 3
The very first step is more about Marriage is not so much FINDING someone but BEING someone.
Many younger people of today are always worried about whether or not they are going to find that right person they should fall in love with. But what a person ought to think about is becoming the right person first before even looking for someone to satisfy themselves.

Ask yourself this question. What are some qualities you would want in your future husband, or wife?
Now that you’ve answered that question ask yourself this question. Do I possess these qualities?
If you don’t, then you should consider working on yourself for someone else first before running out there and wanting to FIND that right person.

We all know how Hollywood usually portrays relationships a little bit differently than quote “real life”. Most movies usually have happy endings of relationships in love stories. Well, most of them are far-fetched. A typical storyline for a movie would be something like this:
Susie was working her 8-5 shift at the local coffee shop. She was just washing the diner tables when suddenly this gorgeous guy named Johnny walked in. Immediately their eyes locked and they exchanged smiles, and fell in love. He asked her out that very night, they went out to a movie, and then later went to her place. They usually sleep together, have sex and wake up happy lying in each others arms. They go through slight hardship throughout the movie but always end up together in the end.
The end.
What is this saying?
Movies are creating love to be some kind of magical love spell that just happens instantly. Love at first sight ideology. When in fact the movies are about two young people of the opposite sex that think one another are physically attractive and are infatuated. They have sex that night because that was the main motive to begin with. It is a message of two people wanting to only satisfy themselves. Most chick flick fans are anxiously waiting for the "right One" to come their way. So the teenagers of today are on the prowl, they are always constantly searching for the Right Guy or Girl to come into their lives so they can be fulfilled. So they can have that right guy/girl come to satisfy them. This puts them in the position of being rather selfish because they are only searching for that right person to satisfy themselves. So they may experience this Love that Hollywood is pumping out of the movie screen. Therefore, we have Tom looking for a girl and Jane looking for a guy to experience love. When you have one saying "ME ME I WANT" and the other saying the same thing of course the relationship isn’t going to work out. Soon something rotten will happen like Jane starts seeing someone else and that doesn't sit right with Tom so he thinks maybe she just wasn't "the right one".

Hollywood’s Formula for love goes something like this.
Imagine it being in a pyramid with the number one important factor being on bottom and of most importance, to least importance.

1 . Physical.
2. Emotional
3. Psychological
4. Social
5. Spiritual

God’s prescription
Same pyramid different importance.
1. Spiritual- Ask yourself if this person committed believer?
2. Social- Observe the person in social settings, with you and other people
3. Psychological- Get to know each other
4. Emotional- Keep your emotions behind God’s lead.
5. Physical- Come together physically
- Dr. Robert Morey Says today’s idea of love is first physical beauty, sexual appeal, love and sex, then marriage.
- But he says The Biblical pattern is first Faith, Godly Character, Marriage, then Love and sex.

We should now step back from reading and ask ourselves an important question. Check to see the different influences that have shaped the way you approach love. If we don’t examine where our ideas come from, and if we’re not careful we end up believing things without examining the truth behind them.
I am one for chick flicks. I enjoy watching them, because its about what I want to believe is love. But I must ask myself…. Are these movies healthy for me to continually feed myself with Hollywood’s way of thinking?
For example Friends the TV show taught me that sex is common in dating relationships.
God’s truth says that Sex is a healthy normal part of a marriage relationship.

To know the difference of Love or Infatuation
Please read my other post Part 2 of love, sex and lasting relationships.
Love or Infatuation?